C’est la veuve!
oh hiiiiiiiiiii!!! hi guys! happy new year! miss me? ugh, fuck off. So let me tell you about how i KIND OF pulled a Mariah and had a mini-breakdown ending with an attempt to drown myself in a bathtub filled with 47 bottles of Veuve Clicquot.. #FunFact: I’m a complete.fucking.psycho. disguised in flawless skin and Celine Resort. Anyways, daddy got SUPER upset because apparently these bottles were “art”………right….still looks like boxes of champagne left over from that boring party your threw in our 7th house. ANYWAYS- he took my Amex, my third Bentley, and suspended my membership to Soho House . So after spending weeks sobbing into a pile of cocaine, macaroons, and clothes from last season’s sample sale that I can’t fit into anymore/never could fit into but purchased with hope, I went to see my spiritual advisor who promptly told me to get my shit together, and work on my writing. She could only possibly be referring to my book or my blog, but since I don’t yet feel thin enough to write a memoir, I’m sure it’s the latter. So without further adieu, IM BACK BITCHES! Hope your ensembles haven’t been entirely HEINOUS since we last parted. But just a heads up - between reviewing the new Pre-Fall collections and this epic yet necessary text-war with Bey (deeeeeeply offended by her inability to properly name a child), I may not be posting as much as usual so you bitches will just have to DEAL.
Love you, mean it!